It's only been one day since finding out that my friend and in all reality, mentor will be forced to leave. However, with each passing moment, I see the growing chasm that will need to be dealt with next year. He is the community and trust builder of the staff. I am not sure if the rest of the middle school is going to be willing to change to fill the void which means I will need to. I am just not really sure if I am ready for that.
Don't get me wrong, being that person is certainly one of my goals, but I did not want this yet. I wanted to learn from him for another year and learn to teach for another year. Go figure that with as much as my faith has been struggling this year, I am going to have to give up even more control that I never had, and trust in something that has been weakened--my faith, not His strength.
The good thing is that I had a crazy brainstorming session tonight about next year. While I came up with some good stuff, it is not the only time I have had brainstorms. The bigger problem has been implementation. Odds are this is a confidence issue (why are you laughing and nodding your head...I can see you...)
Bottom line, growing up stinks...stepping out in faith is incredibly difficult...combining the two...well, you get the idea.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the ways I need to change,
the courage to be a difference maker,
and the confidence to walk in faith!
Note to self:: Philippians !:6
1 comments:
hey john miss talk to you. This post reminds me of my journey right now I am going to be going back and finishing my RN but I too have a huge TRUST issue and My FEAR keeps getting in the way. This week ( the whole two days so far) In my quiet time with god the words provision, defender, provider, fortress keeps coming up. I will be praying for you call me if you can.kristin
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