The Hits Just Keep Coming

All in all, it has been a rough few months. The challenges of teaching, administration hassles, the weight of the grad school curriculum, and all the things that come with just being me have slowly been chopping my legs out. The result of all this is a general feeling of loneliness and exhaustion. Couple that with a severe spiritual drought and you have the makings of a nightmare. Of course the irony here is that I am in a program where two of the most important values are community and spirituality. Odds are at this present moment, you are either laughing hysterically or giving your computer one of the strangest blank stares (much like that last youtube video your friend's brother's cousin's former roommate just sent you...)

Now before I start to make it sound like life has been unbearably miserable, there have also been some great parts of this year. The JVs, Dominicans, and other volunteers have been a lifesaver, and the fun of living in a lively city has been great on weekends. On top of that, there are a few teachers at school and at home that have brought about small and large blessings rather frequently.

Unfortunately, one of those silver threads lining the gray clouds is being pulled out from right under my and the rest of the faculty's noses. I found out today that one of the best teachers in our school is being layed off because we don't have enough kids in the school. Not only is he an outstanding teacher, but he is the best leader and role model in the school for these kids. He has gotten me through a great many days when I was ready to crash and burn and continually teaches new ways of reaching the kids. I am absolutely crushed that he will be leaving. What's worse is that he will not be replaces...I have no idea what this means in terms of classes for next year, but I can only assume that each of us remaining will shoulder some of the burden, not to mention the possibility that this will jeopardize the possibility of teaching Algebra to a group of 8th graders and could also affect the splitting of the 7th grade classes.

Welcome back from break...

Convictions II

The battle of convictions continues as the fear of events I saw happening have indeed happened. A person whom I believed had strong convictions gave way, and now I fear the eventual toll that will have.

Now, things have gotten stranger. While I have seen these convictions fall for some, I am now also witnessing the possibility of the dreadful outcome of having not had them in the first place. The subplot in both cases is the same, one at the beginning and one at a possible ending.

I realize this is a little cryptic and without much information, but there are a number of other people whose lives are affected by these things. Their stories for now shall remain a secret.

three fourths

Wow.

The third quarter is over. Just one quarter left to teach these kids as much as possible. That's really only about 8 weeks. I really do not even know how to describe the ridiculousness of that. In just 8 weeks I will have survived the first year. Amazing.

Unfortunately it also means a ton of work to do in the next two weeks for ACE. Not so much fun. A major unit plan and another ed psych paper. Ah well, back to work.

Conflicted Conviction

Why is it that conviction always seems to make life more difficult for those with conviction and have no affect on anyone else? I am starting to get sick and tired of my convictions. It seems more and more like they are foolish and that I am the only one that still believes in some of the most old fashioned things. Not only that, but it is beginning to seem like having said convictions is a lot like trying to board a train from the front while it is traveling at you at nearly 100mph. Don't believe me? Try it sometime. But be careful. Convictions are nearly impossible to change and usually have a heavy psychological weight to them.

Of course the irony of all this is that so many people seem to be able to just drop them whenever it makes life easier...or more 'fun'

Aaaaarrrrgggghhh!!

TGIF

I am not sure where the saying TGIF came from, all I know is that I am living for it right now. I cannot help but remember Friday night being a night in front of the TV...till 10, which was bed time, watching Full House, Perfect Strangers, Family Matters, Step by Step. Ahh those were the days.

A Light in Dark Places

Rolling...

Well, it appears that spring has most definitely sprung in the southern states...at least for a little while. Sorry all of you up north buried under snow and winter.

All in all, life has been just a bit crazier than normal. On top of the teaching schedule, we ACErs have started an educational psychology class, which equates to lots of reading (120ish pages of psych articles & studies) and then synthesize, expound on, and reflect on in less that 6 pages. Teachers are insane...I can say that with great amount of certainty.

In truth, I have been getting a little burned out. Motivation has been at an all time low, though on the bright side of things, we have started working on the spring plays. Two drastically one act shows that should make for a very interesting night of theatre. We will go from a slightly too realistic comedy about some out of control kids in class, to a hard hitting drama about being a prodigal daughter. It will be a little strange being behind the scenes, but no doubt quite eye opening.