Spartan Sojourner

K A B O O M

2008-05-07T22:56:00.000-05:00

NOT

HAVING

A

GOOD

DAY.

END POST

Big Shoes

2008-04-17T22:23:00.004-05:00

It's only been one day since finding out that my friend and in all reality, mentor will be forced to leave. However, with each passing moment, I see the growing chasm that will need to be dealt with next year. He is the community and trust builder of the staff. I am not sure if the rest of the middle school is going to be willing to change to fill the void which means I will need to. I am just not really sure if I am ready for that.

Don't get me wrong, being that person is certainly one of my goals, but I did not want this yet. I wanted to learn from him for another year and learn to teach for another year. Go figure that with as much as my faith has been struggling this year, I am going to have to give up even more control that I never had, and trust in something that has been weakened--my faith, not His strength.

The good thing is that I had a crazy brainstorming session tonight about next year. While I came up with some good stuff, it is not the only time I have had brainstorms. The bigger problem has been implementation. Odds are this is a confidence issue (why are you laughing and nodding your head...I can see you...)

Bottom line, growing up stinks...stepping out in faith is incredibly difficult...combining the two...well, you get the idea.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the ways I need to change,
the courage to be a difference maker,
and the confidence to walk in faith!

Note to self:: Philippians !:6

The Hits Just Keep Coming

2008-04-16T18:48:00.002-05:00

All in all, it has been a rough few months. The challenges of teaching, administration hassles, the weight of the grad school curriculum, and all the things that come with just being me have slowly been chopping my legs out. The result of all this is a general feeling of loneliness and exhaustion. Couple that with a severe spiritual drought and you have the makings of a nightmare. Of course the irony here is that I am in a program where two of the most important values are community and spirituality. Odds are at this present moment, you are either laughing hysterically or giving your computer one of the strangest blank stares (much like that last youtube video your friend's brother's cousin's former roommate just sent you...)

Now before I start to make it sound like life has been unbearably miserable, there have also been some great parts of this year. The JVs, Dominicans, and other volunteers have been a lifesaver, and the fun of living in a lively city has been great on weekends. On top of that, there are a few teachers at school and at home that have brought about small and large blessings rather frequently.

Unfortunately, one of those silver threads lining the gray clouds is being pulled out from right under my and the rest of the faculty's noses. I found out today that one of the best teachers in our school is being layed off because we don't have enough kids in the school. Not only is he an outstanding teacher, but he is the best leader and role model in the school for these kids. He has gotten me through a great many days when I was ready to crash and burn and continually teaches new ways of reaching the kids. I am absolutely crushed that he will be leaving. What's worse is that he will not be replaces...I have no idea what this means in terms of classes for next year, but I can only assume that each of us remaining will shoulder some of the burden, not to mention the possibility that this will jeopardize the possibility of teaching Algebra to a group of 8th graders and could also affect the splitting of the 7th grade classes.

Welcome back from break...

Convictions II

2008-03-27T21:48:00.002-05:00

The battle of convictions continues as the fear of events I saw happening have indeed happened. A person whom I believed had strong convictions gave way, and now I fear the eventual toll that will have.

Now, things have gotten stranger. While I have seen these convictions fall for some, I am now also witnessing the possibility of the dreadful outcome of having not had them in the first place. The subplot in both cases is the same, one at the beginning and one at a possible ending.

I realize this is a little cryptic and without much information, but there are a number of other people whose lives are affected by these things. Their stories for now shall remain a secret.

three fourths

2008-03-19T17:34:00.003-05:00

Wow.

The third quarter is over. Just one quarter left to teach these kids as much as possible. That's really only about 8 weeks. I really do not even know how to describe the ridiculousness of that. In just 8 weeks I will have survived the first year. Amazing.

Unfortunately it also means a ton of work to do in the next two weeks for ACE. Not so much fun. A major unit plan and another ed psych paper. Ah well, back to work.

Conflicted Conviction

2008-03-13T21:46:00.003-05:00

Why is it that conviction always seems to make life more difficult for those with conviction and have no affect on anyone else? I am starting to get sick and tired of my convictions. It seems more and more like they are foolish and that I am the only one that still believes in some of the most old fashioned things. Not only that, but it is beginning to seem like having said convictions is a lot like trying to board a train from the front while it is traveling at you at nearly 100mph. Don't believe me? Try it sometime. But be careful. Convictions are nearly impossible to change and usually have a heavy psychological weight to them.

Of course the irony of all this is that so many people seem to be able to just drop them whenever it makes life easier...or more 'fun'

Aaaaarrrrgggghhh!!

TGIF

2008-03-07T17:15:00.002-05:00

I am not sure where the saying TGIF came from, all I know is that I am living for it right now. I cannot help but remember Friday night being a night in front of the TV...till 10, which was bed time, watching Full House, Perfect Strangers, Family Matters, Step by Step. Ahh those were the days.

A Light in Dark Places

2008-03-03T18:30:00.002-05:00

Rolling...

2008-03-03T18:03:00.003-05:00

Well, it appears that spring has most definitely sprung in the southern states...at least for a little while. Sorry all of you up north buried under snow and winter.

All in all, life has been just a bit crazier than normal. On top of the teaching schedule, we ACErs have started an educational psychology class, which equates to lots of reading (120ish pages of psych articles & studies) and then synthesize, expound on, and reflect on in less that 6 pages. Teachers are insane...I can say that with great amount of certainty.

In truth, I have been getting a little burned out. Motivation has been at an all time low, though on the bright side of things, we have started working on the spring plays. Two drastically one act shows that should make for a very interesting night of theatre. We will go from a slightly too realistic comedy about some out of control kids in class, to a hard hitting drama about being a prodigal daughter. It will be a little strange being behind the scenes, but no doubt quite eye opening.

Tuesday Tidbits

2007-11-27T22:17:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Slight Chill in the House, Starting a Movie]
[TV:: Rent | Rent]

A few random stories about today. Oh hush up, yes this is another blog already. Deal with it :oP

[1] The backstory:: On my way to lunch I came across a collection of first graders in the hallway waiting on classmates to finish their bathroom breaks. I very politely asked Ms. G if that was her kids making all of the noise because they all know that they should be quiet. After a brief conversation with the kids I continued on my way.

Fast Forward:: An hour before the end of the school day. I am again walking down the hallway to see a crew of first graders in the hallway once again being a little noisier than they should be so I decided to have a little fun. I walked closer with my my hand to my ear making it very apparent that I was listening to all of the noise they were making. Ms. G. then asked my to go into the room to see the 'stoplight'. For those that are not familiar with primary education, the 'stoplight' is a chart for behavior where students start on green and each time they get in trouble the move from green to yellow and then on to red and blue if necessary. If you get to blue, it was a very bad day...

Anywho, Ms. G. tells me to go in and see how many reds and blues there were so I did. As I walked out of the classroom, I put on my best 'I am very sad and disappointed face' and told the entire first grade that I was very unhappy. Then I proceeded to ask the students why they were having so much trouble today...Silence...the kind of silence that Teachers dream of having in a classroom. After some prodding from Ms. G. I finally got a response to my question, and was rather taken aback at the honesty of the response. One first grader informed me that they were excited and had a lot of energy today and that they were not listening. After a very short discussion about when excitement is good and when it needs to be stifled, I turned and walked away.

It is fun dealing with other teachers students :D Your own students...well not so much.

[2] School is over and the kindergarten and first graders are taking a bathroom break before the start of after care:: There are a few kindergarten boys that are absolutely fascinated by me. They are a lot of fun to get a little riled up and leave (no one ever said that teachers are always nice to each other ;) ) In fact one of these same boys was laying on the floor and tried to use my leg as a pillow...getting back on track...so I am giving the kids high fives and listening to them when suddenly my arms were latched onto by two boys and they began very thorough examinations of my arms. The first boy asked, "What are the brown spots on your arms?" After a moment of mild shock, I announced to the curious boys that they were in fact freckles. It never occurred to me that they would not know what they are. My new internal debate is if this is a result of them being all of maybe five years old or if it is because they are African American. They're second question was similar but not quite as thought provoking, "Why are some the hairs on your arms blond and some black?"

That's all for now

Well....yeah

2007-11-23T18:54:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Loafing @ cottage]
[iTunes:: Everything | Lifehouse]

Well, if there are any of you still out there, this is my November post. It does bother me that I am posting only once or twice a month. But then again I also do not like apologizing for having not writing so when I get behind I feel less and less like writing.

Life has been very, very busy. Though I suppose most people that read this could have guessed that long before even being bored enough to visit. Despite that, it has been the kind of busy that I used to dream about at gedas. Every day is more challenging than the one before it because I honestly do not know how to get students to learn. I can present material in many different ways, but that does not mean they are learning it. I wish that I could remember the ways that my teachers introduced material. While this may sound strange, it is hard to remember that there was a time that I did not know the things that I know now. Think about it though. Do you remember what it was like to learn how to multiply two digit numbers? The concept is near mind boggling to me. Go figure.

Oh well, that is part of the beauty of everything. There really is a time when we did not know things, and we are able to learn them. A process that never seems to end thankfully. For example, already today I learn that the man that founded Vassar College also founded a city of Vassar in Michigan. I also learned why some Ale's are called IPAs. Wonder what I will learn before you read this.

What have you learned that is neat or obscure lately? Please share in the comments so I know some people are still stopping by! Happy Thanksgiving!

Bum, bum, BUUMMMMM

2007-10-19T06:47:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Sitting at my desk, papers everywhere]

Well, the day has come that students dread. It is the day that happens only twice in each school year, and no student in the history of the world has ever truely looked forward to today. Most are merely glad to survive it, and all of them say their prayers the night before. I can remember that it was a day that always landed me in some sort of trouble...Have you guessed what it is?

Conferences...[Cue very dramatic music:: Bum, bum, BUUMMMMM]

It is a very peculiar feeling sitting on this side of my first ever conference day. I have never actually witnessed what goes on in conferences. Students in my schools were not privy to the event...not that any of us really wanted to be there when that thing we did on the second day of school was recounted in great detail despite the 2 months that have passed since the event. However, at this school we have what are called student led conferences. That's right, student lead. I have absolutely no idea how this is going to go, but the odds are, there will be tears. Well I better go, they start in 5 minutes.

Waaahhh?

2007-10-08T16:45:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Watching TV, procrastinating the work that needs to be done]
[TV:: M.A.S.H.]

Today was a day quite unlike any other. It started off pretty miserable. I was tired and did not really have anything planned for the day other than doing what I did not finish on Friday. When I arrived at school things did not get much better. As it was, I had 4 sets of lesson plans, 2 tests, a reflection, and a few other things to get done by tomorrow. I was hoping to use some free periods to get started since I was far too tired last night to do it. While I was preparing for the first class, I was informed that I was substituting for the Religion teacher during one of my two free periods! Then I checked my e-mail and found out about 4 additional things I need to get done for tomorrow. You can imagine how my early classes went...

By the time lunch rolled around I was officially not having a good day. As I was walking back from eating my abbreviated lunch, I discovered that there was a student in my classroom working on an assignment that he hadn't done. From there it was on to the Religion class. When I went in, I assumed I would find a sub folder that would allow me to just give them some work and then they could use the rest of the class as study hall...I assumed....I was wrong. The folder had been relocated. Once I tracked it down, I discovered they had already done all of the work that was in the folder!! Naturally I was ecstatic. I had the kids start reading out of Ephesians and planned to have them summarize what they read and explain what Paul was writing. Then came to the startling conclusion they had no idea what they were reading. From that point on I launched into a 30 minute theology lesson on the start of nation of Israel and the Law. That ones that tuned in were riveted. It was very apparent that they had never heard most of these things before and they were astonished that some things were in the bible.

That was a kind of turning point in the day. My last class did not exactly go fantastic, but it did not go badly either. I was able to get some lesson planning done after class and even was asked to tutor a teacher who wants to go back for her Phd. I worked a little after class and then decided to come home. I talked with Elizabeth for a bit before leaving and then got in the car and started the path home. This is when things really got interesting.

I couldn't help noticing that the clouds were a little funny. There were several big white fluffy clouds and an almost equal number of weighty grey ones. Perhaps not all that strange to begin with, but there were also large patches of big blue sky. It was like the weather did not know what to do with itself so it was having a little of everything. By this time I had made it onto the freeway which was flooded with sunlight despite the odd assortment of cloud formations. Then out of the corner of my eyes I saw something that looked like the rays of sun that sometimes break their way throught the clouds. There were only two problems. First of all, they were rather grey in color against the bluish sky that was their background instead of a startling bright color. The second, and perhaps even stranger was that they appeared to be perfectly vertical...that is perfectly perpendicular to the ground. They did not angle their way back towards the sun.

Unfortunately I could not really tell if they were actually there or if they were a figment of my imagination. They were the sort of thing that you could not look directly at to see. Like a well camouflaged creature that you can only see when it moves. When looking straight at it, the colors just blended into the sky, but from the side, it was like looking closely at a pair of pants. At first you only see the color, then you see the threads that actually make the pants. This section of sky was the same way. There almost appeared to be hundreds of barely visible threads hanging in the sky. The thing is, I couldn't see where they started, and every time I tried to look closely, they would disappear altogether. Of course it didn't help that I was on the freeway.

I soon changed freeways and started to drive towards the gossamer threads that from my peripheral vision seemed to stretch clear to the sky. Now, up to this point, I started to have a hunch of what it could have been but at the same time I was not exactly sure it was possible. It would just be too darn cartoonish. It would be if it weren't exactly what it was. As I drove a little further, I saw the sure sign that it was exactly what I thought it was. I could see in the midst of the greyish, vertical, strands, the faintest rainbow. That's right, a rainbow!

I was watching rain fall the entire way from a grey cloud to the earth. It was unbelievable!!! I wish I could have pulled off an taken a picture, but my camera was at home. Truly a once in a lifetime experience.

Bat Dogs and Britney Spears

2007-09-30T22:20:00.001-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Worn out]
[TV:: Home Improvement]

Normally I might type out an apology about not having written in a while, but lets face it, at this point it is just kinda obvious that change is most likely not going to happen. Truth is, I just haven't felt much like blogging. I do not even really know what to say.

My days tend to have the same basic structure to them. Get up, go to school, teach, each lunch, teach more, stay after school, come home, attempt to get things done, go to bed too late with not enough done, and repeat in the morning. I know that sounds rather bland and dull, and in truth the days are anything but when I am at school, but I do not know how best to convey everything that has been happening. At the end of next week, the first quarter will be over. Completely finished. 1/4 of my first year as a teacher will be done and I will have used 1/4 of the time that I have with the eighth grade. We actually thought one of the kids was going to be withdrawn this week, but fortunately he is still here. I think the best thing for him would be for him to stay the entire year, but his past and some of the drama that the girls are creating as a result of him have been making things difficult.

Outside of school, the last few weeks have been a blur of craziness with meeting new people and trying to get to know the area. I have been spending a lot of time with the JVCs, Dominican & Clarician volunteers. We have been to Stone Mountain for the laser show, worked at a fund raiser for the Sullivan Center, and gone to a couple Theology on Tap events.

Before I go, I thought I would share a couple of the more fun happenings:

One day when I was coming home from school, I was driving on the freeway and happened to notice a car ahead with a dog hanging its head out the window. Normally there would be absolutely nothing out of the ordinary about this except that in this case the dog was wearing goggles. Yup, that's right, goggles. They even looked custom made.

A few weeks ago I decided to get a haircut, and as per my usual, I chopped a bunch of hair off and cut it short (P.S. when I went to get my haircut, Kate and Elizabeth went as well. Between two hairdressers they had us all done in 20 minutes flat). Flash forward to the next day. When students come into the middle school, they come down a set of stairs that leads directly to my room, and when I looked up, there was a crowd surrounding my door. My haircut managed to set the whole middle school into a mild chaos. Kids would come to my door stare blankly, walk away to tell someone, and come back again. Mrs. D had to shoo the kids away. At the end of the day, I found out that some kids told Mrs. Abby that quote "Mr. Hepper went Britney Spears on us!"

Welcome to middle school!

Reporting Progress...

2007-09-02T17:04:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Piles of papers strewn across the couches]
[TV:: Titanic]

Well, time has been flying by. As my friends and fellow teachers in Michigan await the start of their school years at the end of this Labor Day weekend, I am preparing progress report grades. That's right, I am almost half way through my first quarter. It still feels like I just started, though with each passing day, the summer at ND seems to be fading further and further into history. All in all, things are going fairly well.

The biggest surprise of this journey has been the people that I have met and the other volunteer organizations I have found out about. Yesterday I spent the day hanging out with my roommate, some people that are a part of the Jesuit Volunteer Corp and a Dominican Volunteer. Prior to yesterday, I really had never heard of either program. It is amazing to meet so many people that are so concerned with social justice. Our dinner conversation lasted for close to two hours discussing what each of us considers to be the biggest social justice issue of our generation. Of course then the night progressed into talking about being new to Atlanta and playing games of all sorts.

Well I just wanted to say hello because I have not been writing much. Now I must continue with my school work and prepare for the festivities of the next two days.

P.S. To all of my MDA family, I am sorry I cannot be there with you at all of the events going on today and tomorrow. Sadly I do not even get to see any of you on TV, but I will be watching the telethon and thinking of you :)

Two Weeks and Two Days...

2007-08-24T21:47:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Friday Night, Sitting on the couch with a half graded stack of 6th grade homework, not paying attention to the movie]
[TV:: The Fellowship of the Ring]

Ladies and Gentlemen, two things are official at this moment. The first is that I am back after a short hiatus. We did not have internet at the house until last week so any form of an update was made rather difficult. Unfortunately, that means I became so backlogged in terms of what I needed/wanted to share, that I did not know where to start and so wrote nothing. I have come to the decision that the best place to start is in fact at the end because if I start at the beginning, we will never get to the present which means another eventual hiatus.

The second thing that is quite official is that I am, in fact, a teacher. Yup, if for some reason you have been out of the loop, I am a teacher. In the interest of confidentiality, I will never use the names of the students or even the name of the school. If you want to know that stuff, contact me directly and I can tell you. However, so you know when I am referring to it I shall either call it SPC or simply 'The Clave' (This one is not my own, it was passed on from a former ACEer that taught at 'the clave'.

All in all, I cannot believe how quickly the time is moving! It is hard to believe that by the end of next week, I will have been in the ACE program for nearly 3 months!! Think about that! The time in the classroom disappears so quickly. I am still working on getting everything covered that I want to and making sure that I can see where the students are at. I really do not remember teachers doing assessments anywhere near as often as I find myself needing to do. It really is quite intriguing to see what they are understanding and what they are not. As I am grading things, I am often astounded at how much trouble they are having with 'review' material. Unfortunately, this school as a whole does quite poorly in math on the standardized tests and they have made it quite clear that their goal is to get scores up. Every staff meeting it is talked about how poorly they are doing and that everyone needs to be teaching math stuff (vocab, logical reasoning, problem solving, etc.) None the less, I felt like a huge weight was being dropped directly on me to 'save the math program'. Perhaps that is a bit of an exaggeration, but in my defense, when you have a week until the first time you will ever have your own students, the last thing that you want to hear is that the students score in the 20th percentile on math.

Oh well, it is what it is and I find it is creating some interesting scenarios in class. However, I will save those for the times when they come up. I really just wanted to say that I am still alive and have been in the class room for two weeks and two days. That is all for now, but at least the draught is more or less over with :)

Oh and just so you know, on Wednesday, we broke the all time record for heat in Atlanta at 104 degrees Fahrenheit......knock off that snickering, I can see you from here :-P

All ABOARD!!!!

2007-07-30T23:46:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Tired, Sitting in my room burning one last disk of pictures]
[Noise:: Fans blowing]

Well, I am going to bed now. The car is packed and I am just about ready to go. One last night of sleep in the comforts of home and then the adventure begins. In a few hours, I will wake up and get in the car and drive. Then I will drive some more. A lot more. I will stop and get some food, and then I will continue with the driving.

It is funny to think that when I was little, I could not stand being in the car for more than about a half hour. I would get car sick if I read anything, so on the occasion I got to sit near the cigarette lighter I would play the one and only game system that I ever owned, Sega Game Gear, and then I was ok for a little longer. It was so bad, that the longest driving vacation my family ever took was to Virginia Beach. Florida was out of the question and meant flying.

In the last few years, my desire to travel and experience anything I can has had me in cars for multiple days. I have made 3 round trips to Florida since 2004 and been to countless places in between. Now for the first time I will make the drive alone to Georgia. It has with it all the makings of the first chapter of an adventure novel. Large amounts of unknown, something planned that can just barely be defined, plenty of literal and figurative road blocks, and of course venturing out to do something alone...well not entirely alone, just the driving part, and of course being the only teacher in the classroom. Well, I guess this is the part where the prologue ends and the story begins....

Screaching Halt

2007-07-29T18:03:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Sitting on the couch at home; drained]
[TV:: 10 Deadliest Sharks]

Well, it looks like I have once again fallen into the habit of not blogging when things get busy. For the record, when I say busy, I mean teacing in the morning, classes in the afternoon, and homework until the single digit numbers make their return to the digital clocks. Fortunately, the first semester has come to an end and I am very much still alive. For the moment, I find myself at home trying to get everything in order for the start of the next adventure which starts Tuesday.

Yes, that is right, Tuesday. That is when I start the long drive down 75 to ATL. Wednesday I meet with the principal of the school and find out everyting else about the school and my responsibilites there. For the moment, I am both nervous and excited, but I have so much to do that I do not have a great deal of time to dwell on what is coming ahead. Well, that is about all for now. I will try to write more frequently because I am sure as classes start I will have a ton of stories. However, I am not going to promise to write more because I don't want to disappoint you :)

How Precious is the Flow...

2007-07-10T23:25:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: There is no word in the english language for how I feel]

Come now, let us reason togethor, says the Lord:
though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow,
though they are red like crimson,
they shall become like wool.
--Isaiah 1:18

Rather than say much, just reflect with me on how incredible a promise that really is. Goodnight.

Alive for the Moment

2007-06-28T16:46:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Cool breeze drifting through the open window]
[iTunes:: Beneath the Surface | Souljahz]

When I was coming back from class half an hour ago, my neighbor noticed me and asked how I was doing. My response was that I am alive, for the moment. He followed up by asking what I meant by that so I explained the massive amount of work I have to do by tomorrow and hinted at the possibility of it killing me before the night is through.

We all have times like this in life when we feel like it is just One of those days. One of those days that you just might, completely hypothetically speaking, knock over both of your beverages in the cafeteria in a two minute time period...One of those Days. The days where we wish the mountain in front of us really was a mole hill, but we know the truth. The most frustrating part about these days is of course that everyone around you is inevitably having a fantastic day (or at least appear to be)

As I thought about all of this, I realized something that while it may not be particularly profound, definately hit me like a proverbial Ton of Bricks. I discovered that there is a huge difference between:

Alive, for the moment.
-and-
Alive for the moment.

Yes, I know there is a grammatical difference in that one has a comma and one does not. The realization is how dramatically the comma changes the meaning. Sound it out with me. The first one is Alive PAUSE for the moment. Very good. Now lets try the second one. Alive for the moment. Remember no comma = no pause.

Anyone else catching the difference yet? (Oh dear this is sounding to sound like I am teaching a lesson....)

Alive, for the moment, implies that soon I will not be. Alive for the moment, implies being alive for each and every moment, and that is exactly what I want to be. To feel alive in every moment and fully experience every moment. I loathe how often I miss out on moments because I am tired or just plain zoned out. From this moment on I am challenging myself to be Alive for the moment.

Are you willing to challenge yourself to do the same?

Alive, or something like that

2007-06-26T21:59:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Head throbbing, too many thoughts running through my head]
[TV:: Commercials]

First and foremost, I would like all of you to take a second to pray for my friend Alex and his family. Alex underwent a very risky back surgery today. The surgery appears to have been successful, but it is still early. He now has a very long road to recovery and this will no doubt be very challenging emotionally on the family. Thank you!

As for me? Well, as the Germans say, Mann lebt. Roughly translated it means, I'm alive. I have survived the first two days of tutoring and for the first time, have some ideas about what to do tomorrow. It is hard though when the two students are so different academically. It basically means I have to write two lesson plans for each day. Other than that, I am just dealing with the general confusion that comes with life and trying to understand the mysteries that lie ahead.

Classes are going pretty well, though they are about to ramp up again. Up until this point, I did not have any math content class because the professor was still teaching at Colorado State. From what I have seen, I am pretty sure I am going to love this class.

It really seems like I should have more to say, but I just can't think right now. I am going to try to get back into the swing of blogging regularly, but I am making no promises. If you have any specific questions, ask them in the comments and I will do my best to answer. That might help me focus on a topic :)

Buried Alive

2007-06-24T15:16:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Camp Hangover]
[Noise:: Fans until I can figure out what to listen to/watch]

Not going to say a whole lot other than I did go to camp which was definately the right thing to do and now I am buried under a mountain of work. I am hoping to be able to look back at the end of the night and see that it was only a mole hill, but it does not appear to be that from where I am now. Rather than babble on, I will leave. Here's hoping that I survive.

We are Go; No Go for Launch...

2007-06-13T14:54:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Irritated]

Dr. D :: Absolutely Not...well Maybe
Mr. W :: It's workable
Dr. D :: That's a Roger on the Go
Fr. L :: Fine
Dr. S :: Good to go
Sr. G :: Sure

Dr. D :: ....I never said we are a Go....
Me :: ?!?!?!?!

I wish people would make up their minds and stick with them. This count down sequence is not an easy abort....

Just Pray.

Initiating the Countdown Sequence...

2007-06-12T23:44:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: mmmm...Goldfish]
[iTunes:: Heaven Forbid | The Fray]

Sorry, I just haven't felt like writing lately. This weekend was kind of a strange one for me so I guess I will just let you all know what happened.

Friday night started out like any great weekend should by going to see the opening of Ocean's 13! The movie was a fantastic combination of the plot line of the first movie, the humor of the second one, and the nostalgia of the original version with the Rat Pack. So far it ranks number one in terms of 'Third' movies coming out this summer...just to recap these are the scheduled ones:

Spiderman 3
Shrek the Third
Pirates of the Carribean: At Worlds End
Bourne Ultimatum
Ocean's 13
Live Free or Die Hard (Technically the fourth but then again there are sort of two different second movies)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix(Yes this one is the fifth, but this list is now officially third or later movies)
Rush Hour 3

Looking at that list makes me sad and wishes writers would be more creative. Anyways we are getting off topic.

After the movie, we went back to the dorms and chilled out since many of us were supposed to take the Praxis in the morning. Well after a fair amount of chilling, I remembered that I needed batteries for my calculator and so I went to meijer. When I was ready to check out, I came to the startling realization that my wallet had decided that we needed a trial separation period. Silly me, I must have left it in the dorm right? Wrong. Crud.

Back to the theater, back to meijer, back to the dorm. No wallet. Double Crud.

No wallet = No ID = No Praxis Test...Triple Crud
No wallet = No ID = No Meal Plan...(you get the picture)

Needless to say that made for a rather frustrating weekend because I just couldn't get focused. It also happened that we had a huge paper and a project due yesterday at noon. I eventually managed to finish the paper and project and get them turned in, but I was up really late Sunday. I have also contacted everyone I could possibly think of and the conclusion is that my wallet has perminantly left me. Life is weird like that sometimes.

Before I forget, Sunday morning was also a challenge, though in a good way. After talking to the two other protestants in the program, we decided to check out a near by Methodist church that had a very cool description on the ND website for other faiths. My heart broke walking into a church that had maybe 15 people in it when we walked in and about 35-40 by the start of service. I was also saddened by the pastor's views on some of Paul's teachings. Though keeping all things in mind, I was intrigued and am undecided about returning. Though my desire is to be in community with the other protestants so it will be interesting to see how that plays out. Perhaps the most notable thing though was the discussion on the way home and also for a little while when we got back to campus about Women's roles in the church. While the two of us differ on opinion over this matter, it was wonerful to get a chance to engage in a honest discussion about it and to be challenged as well as hopefully challenge the other individual's belief. I am really excited to have more of these conversations so we can help eachother to grow throughout the summer. Oh and in case you were wondering why I did not provide a name or anything more about the individual it is because I haven't talked to them about including them in the blog. Deal with it and then re-read it if it was a problem. :-P

Other than that, things are going well since I will be able to go to camp. Long story short, God is good, and has impeccable planning. This was also decided on Friday further complicating the feelings of the weekend. Now I just have to make sure I can get everything done.

Why, It's ACE14...the've gone to....PLAID

2007-06-07T23:07:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Room is sweltering, Lesson plan on printer waiting to be proofread]
[iTunes:: Save the Day | Train]

It is late and I am tired so I am likely going to mix metaphors and cliches and quotes and all that jazz, but this is my blog so you can leave if you want too...when you are done reading :-P Oh and of course commenting and telling me how much my silence has utterly devistated you.

Ok, all kidding aside, I would like to ask all of you to take a moment and pray for my friend Billy and his family. Billy's mom fought valiently against cancer and was finally called back home Today. Pray that Billy and his family can rejoice in the end of her pain and the start of her eternal life with God, and that they will continue to tell stories and remind eachother of her.

That said, it is probably time to give an update on my own endeavors. First, think about the cartoons you watched growing up...or that your 'Friend' was watching yesterday afternoon when they got home from work and did not feel like making dinner. Got some funny moments in your head? Filter them down to the one where one of the charecters (usually the villian ironically enough) runs off screaming through about a dozen walls leaving only their shape in the wall behind.

I am at a point where real world and cartoon physics are melding in that I can understand what the villan feels like after running through that many walls.

Life has been crazy and extremely busy with classes going from 8:30 am to 10:00 pm with breaks for lunch and dinner and an extended break before the 8-10 class because I am in the late computer class. There has been extensive reading most nights and several pages of righting to do. I usually finish the day around 12:30 and then get up in the morning to proofread the paper. The classes we are taking right now are typically symester long classes being taught in 4-9 class periods. Yes my friends, that is officailly ludacrous speed...

Fortunately by Monday, things will slow down, but that is not before having to take the Praxis II test and write several papers this weekend. Though despite all of this, it seems like this is a good program to be a part of and I have certainly met a ton of new people. Well, it is time for bed so I must apologize to any of you who hoped my next post would in fact cover more of the teaser stuff I talked about in the last post. I am just two tired for it right now.

Though I did end up finding my roomate...he was in Chicago...

And it Starts...

2007-06-03T23:45:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Room lit by a single lamp, fans blowing, tummy grumbling]
[iTures:: Looking for Angels | Skillet]

Well it is definately official, I am back in school. I just spent 4 hours reading for classes that start tomorrow! Needless to say I am a tad drained and at the same time quite curious to see what happens in class tomorrow because there was a lot of stuff I did not agree with. If I get a chance tomorrow, I will try to expand and might have some more insight into what life is going to be like on a daily basis. As for right now, I need a snack and sleep because we have a very full day tomorrow.

Oh, I also need to talk about Granger and some of the people I met. That is really more a note to myself than it is a teaser for you.

Random side note; I lost one of my roomates...no seriously, I don't know where he is....

Vroom Vroom

2007-06-01T23:34:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Sitting on my freshly made bed, waiting for roomates to go to bed]
[Noise:: Roomate unpacking & Fan Noise | The Music of the Night]

I made it. I am officially on campus at the University of Notre Dame.

It was a very long day. I woke up this morning around 8:30 and finished packing up the car. After a quick omlete and a few goodbyes, I was off. All in all I made pretty good time on the drive, though the car was definately struggling with all the additional weight. Dad noticed that the back wheels where only about an inch from the car; thank goodness for low profile tires.

Moving in was a tad hectic. I am on the second floor which equates to about two and a half flights of stairs. I have two roomates who both seem cool, but hey it is the first day so everyone seems cool. I managed to get everything into the room which is a plus because we really do not have much room. Maybe if I get some time, I will take some pictures to try and give a feel for where we are living. It is sort of one very small room attached to another small round room. As cool as the round room is, it makes it quite difficult to arrange long rectangular furniture. Oh well, we have time to get that figured out.

Other than that, it was just another flurry of faces and names as we played some games and listened to some people talk. We finished up around 10 and have to be up at the bookstore around 8 tomorrow so they are keeping us quite busy. Well I should get some sleep. Night.

Rollin, rollin, rollin...

2007-05-26T17:54:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Watching TV]
[TV:: Forrest Gump]

Well, I am back online so I suppose that means you would all like to know what I have been doing. Hmm, lets start near the end because that will help explain things. I think.

The end is the explination for how I am online because I am not on either of my parent's computers nor am I on either of my sister's computers. I am on my very own computer! That's right, I am the proud new owner of a MacBook Pro. It is so nice to be back on a Mac!

Since the last time I wrote, A lot has happened so I will recap best I can. First off, my little sister graduated :) Now our entire family has at least a Bachelor's Degree. I can't help but think that is pretty darn cool. Ironically, now that we have hit this milestone, I am getting ready to start my Master's coursework and I have a feeling my sis is not far behind.

I have also spent a decent amount of time in downtown Detroit. As I wrote before, I visited the Ansel Adams exhibit at the DIA. Since then, I went down to a Tiger's game against the Cardinals with a good friend from State and as we were coming home, we discovered there was an Art Fair at the Village in Rochester. The next day, I went to dinner with some friends that live downtown. They have this beautiful loft overlooking woodward. I must say that I am definately giving full creative control over any place I live in to them. It was like something out of a magazine, but it was still something you could live in...if that makes any sense. After talking for a little while, we walked to a French Cafe called Twingos. The food was fantastic and the ambiance matched perfectly. After enjoying a some fabulous appetizers and a delectable dinner we decided to walk over to Traffic Jam and Snug for some devilish desserts. The Traffic Jam is where my family typically goes after seeing a show anywhere downtown because the only thing better than a great night at th theatre is dessert after! We had also planned to go to the brewery next door but decided that we would rather go back to the apartment to hang out and talk.

I also made an attempt to see a friend from school who was supposed to play at a coffee house in my old neighborhood, but I ended up missing her play. I had hoped she was playing a full set, but it turns out she was only playing one song and she moved her time slot to play earlier. On the bright side, I did get to talk to her and her husband afterwards which was wonderful. It is so nice being able to catch up with friends you haven't seen in a long time. I also managed to get a copy of her new album. I highly recommend you check out her stuff at: http://rachanee.net/

Discovering the World Without Color

2007-05-10T20:10:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Road weary and smelling popcorn]
[TV:: Grey's Anatomy]

Yesterday afternoon, my sister and I drove down to the Detroit Institute of Arts and went to an exhibit of Ansel Adams photography. WOW. I was absolutely in awe of the work that he did! I had some idea of the type of photography he did, but was amazed at both his style and variety.

His early nature work was soft with carefully chosen focal points and the rest of the picture blurred. When he was shooting people, it was often native americans in the southwest. You could not pick out faces but there was fantastic detail in their dress. Though, despite these, it was his later work that I was fascinated with.

He was a lover of nature; especially that of Yellowstone National Park. Looking at the collection, it was more than apparent that he desired to show that park as well as several others in ways that the human eye cannot see. He wanted to show a world that you cannot see in color, and can only be seen in the most dramatic forms of black and white. I Cannot help but wonder what it would be like to see the world through his eyes. For example, this picture of Monolith is one of his big breakthroughs. He said it was the first time that the picture he saw in his mind is the picture he captured on film.

Wow.

After looking at the gallery, I realised that I have loved his style of photography for a long time...I just didn't know it was his. He formed a group with some other photographers called f/64. The group was dedicated to crisp, sharp, high contrast photography. It is the one thing he was dedicated to during the meatiest part of his career.

One of the most interesting parts of the exhibit was the picture of Ansel Adams that the DIA was painting. They showed a portrait of a quirky and silly starving artist. He was good friends with Georgia O'Keefe (which I had no idea). He seemed to vary widely in the subjects of his work, but was consistent in the way he shot those subjects. Some of his photos had a witty sense of humor about them, while others showed a delicate femininity, and still others had a sort of dark beauty that he could see and wanted everyone else too as well.

Emergence

2007-05-08T21:46:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone! I know I haven't been blogging much, but that is sadly inevitable. Currently I am computerless except for when I can commandeer someone else's long enough to check e-mail.

Why am I computer less? Well Friday was my last day at work which meant it was the last day of me having the work computer. Additionally, my laptop bit the dust a few months ago so I am pretty much completely unplugged. Sorry :( I am working on rectifying the situation since I will need one before the start of classes in June. That's all for now. Talk to you all soon...hopefully.

ello, ello, ello

2007-04-30T19:26:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Chillin on the couch]
[TV:: Ottawa vs. New Jersey | Round 2 Playoff Hockey]

........*slowly tiptoes into the room*.......*crrrRREEAAAAK!*

...[Gives Dear in Headlights look]....[Blinks]....[Blinks again].....

Um...Hi--No, I didn't forget about you--Look, I'll tell you, but you must put down those tomatoes--Whatta you mean, WHY?--Because they will ruin your computer--I most certainly will not pay to clean it--Ok, now you are just wasting time so shush--:oP [pbthbbbbbbb]

For all of you who are a little more mature that all that, stop kidding yourself because if you were that mature you wouldn't be here in the first place!

This weekend was, in a word, odd. I felt a tad like a duck out of water at the ACE retreat, though I am not sure if that is a result of not being a ND student, having different beliefs that pretty much everyone, being bombarded by massive amounts of information, or because it takes me a while to warm up to people.

I met Bill and Elizabeth who will be two of my house mates in Atlanta, and also met several people from the schools including the principle. As things stand right now, I will be the middle school math department. Yup, you read that right. I will have a sixth grade, a seventh grade, a seventh and eighth grade pre-algebra, and an algebra class. That however only makes up 4 classes which means I will probably have to teach two or three others that have not yet been determined.

The weekend was pretty much what you would expect for an orientation, just with more catered food and slightly fewer ice breakers. Spent a lot of time talking with the Atlantians about why we were there and where we are from.

It was nice to be back in the college environment though. Friday night a few of us went to a bar to have a drink and talk. Saturday we hung out at someones apartment, and though we were supposed to head to a house party, we ended up having an impromptu party ourselves and just never left. All in all it was a pretty good weekend. Though for some reason, Sunday seemed very anti-climactic. After breakfast people just started to leave for the airport or for the homework waiting in the dorms. Oh well. Now it begins...

54 Days

2007-04-23T21:32:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Hockeyhockeyhockeyhockeyhockery...hockey!!!]
[TV:: Dallas at Vancouver; Game 7 | Hockey Night in Canada]

I love hockey. Especially playoff hockey.

I love being able to tune into a Canadian TV station during playoff hockey. During the playoffs, every night is hockey night in Canada.

Just thought that needed to be mentioned.

Go Wings!!! Oh, and in case you didn't know, the Wings won last night in double over time at Calgary! What an awesome game. There really is no more exciting sport that I have seen. Though I still have not seen a game of Jai Alai which I imagine is just insane. Maybe it is just because playoff hockey is so nerve racking. The only other really nerve racking sport in my mind is Soccer. Especially World Cup soccer. And shortly behind that is March Madness college basketball.

Ok, that said, this post is really about the 54 days mentioned in the title.

7 Weeks; 5 Days.

June 17th (or if you are lucky it can be June 16th) is the start of Camp.

Camp is my life blood. It is what I live for because it has year in and year out changed my life. It is a week of waking up with passion, and falling asleep because you have been running on Adrenalin and passion for 18 hours. Then you do it again. And you laugh and cry and hug at the end, but you don't really say much because there just aren't words. That is camp.

Honestly, camp has almost taken on it's own meaning. One of the actual definitions is:

A place in the country that offers simple group accommodations and organized recreation or instruction, as for vacationing children

HEHEHEHE. Not even close to an explanation for camp. I don't really feel like I can explain it right now so I think I will post the essay I wrote about it for the ACE application.

Enjoy, and think about what you would say if someone asked you to tell what is most important to you...in less than 300 words. I have to go work on my camp application because there is a planning meeting tomorrow(or today for most people that will read this)

What is Most Important to You? (300 Words Max.)

2007-04-23T21:29:00.000-05:00

How does a person decide if what is most important is an event, some words of wisdom, an individual who touched his life, or a simple tradition? For me, it is a combination of these things that begins on Father’s Day when I join 130 of my closest friends for a week at Muscular Dystrophy Summer Camp.

We have our own reasons for returning year after year. Campers want a week where wheelchairs and leg braces are commonplace. I go to put the other fifty-one weeks into perspective. Every day of the year, I face situations that require humility, willingness to ask for help, sacrifice, and a desire to overcome. At camp my friends demonstrate how to answer yes through the examples they live out.

Throughout daily activities at camp I am reminded that the biggest barrier for people is the assumptions we make about them. Campers teach me how to recognize when I need help and more importantly how to accept it with grace, dignity, and occasionally a sense of humor. My friends whose diseases have no name show how to face uncertainty with courage. Volunteers challenge the conventional meaning of words like value and trust when I see how we must rely on each other to get through the week. Together, our physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional strength is taken to the breaking point, and as a result each of us grows stronger and wiser.

When the week ends, it is impossible to walk away unchanged. I leave with a refined definition of who I am, and what people are capable of. The memories and mementos of camp are my daily reminders of not only how to define words like strength, ability, and dignity, but also how to live them out every moment of every day.

ACE High

2007-04-20T10:38:00.001-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Mentally I am already gone, physically I am at work]
[iTunes:: You Are My Joy | David Crowder Band]

Two days before I left for Mexico, I got a phone call that I wasn't expecting. In fact when the number came up, I read the area code to be 517 which while I did not recognize the number, the odds where that it was someone from mid-michigan and most likely MSU.

When I answered the call, I discovered that the area code as most definately not 517 because the call was coming from Indiana. Specifically south bend, the home of the University of Notre Dame. Notre Dame is the home of the Alliance for Catholic Education (ACE) program that I applied for and got waitlisted for.

I am no longer on the waiting list, I am now officially a member of the ACE program. I will spend the next two school years teaching 6th through 8th grade math in Atlanta!

For some of you, this is the first you are going to hear about it, and I am sorry I couldn't tell you in person, but this is the best way for me to get information out there. This blog will also be the best way for you to know what I am doing as everything unfolds.

Google Goodness

2007-04-19T13:25:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Purple]
[iTunes:: Anthem | Souljahz]

Every once in a while someone comes up with a fun Google search that will make you smile. This latest one isn't the best I have seen, but it will still make you chuckle.

Go to http://maps.google.com
Click on 'Get Directions'
Type 'New York' in the from box
Type 'London' in the to box
Click on 'Get Directions'
Read step 24

Enjoy.

P.S. Thanks Lis :)

Well that's strange....

2007-04-18T15:21:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Confuseled]
[iTunes:: Dead Wrong | The Fray]

At the moment, the Sheriff's department has blocked off both driveways into the work parking lot and are not letting anyone in...not even the shuttle that goes between the buildings. There are two sheriffs at one entrance, and three at the other. They are only letting people out of one entrance. Very peculiar.

** Update **
Apparently both of our buildings had been blocked off. The sheriffs just left, but we still do not know what that was all about. Here's to hoping that we find out soon...

Sure, why not :)

2007-04-18T14:49:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Suddenly Smiling]
[iTunes:: Marvelous Light | Passion Worship Band]

I did not know what I was going to write about, but I knew it was time to write. Then the song changed.

'Marvelous Light' is definitely one of my favorite new praise songs! Unfortunately, the first few times it was played during chapel in Mexico, the words were not being displayed. In fact, if I am not mistaken, the first time it was played was just after the power blew one night at camp. I am not sure if we blew the circuit breaker or if one of the generators decided it wanted to rest. Regardless it is a very energetic song that just makes me smile and want to start jumping around. If I wasn't at work right now, I would probably be doing just exactly that...or trying to jam along on the guitar. Keyword; trying.

I am always amazed by the way music can speak to us. Several years ago, there was a song that Riverview used to play called 'Unashamed Love' and I loved it. It is a very simple song that has surprisingly powerful words. Over the years, I have found myself singing it in various situations. When I was nervous and worried about things in Florida, I sang it to myself. When life was getting crazy at State, i sang it to myself. When I realized things were out of my control, I sang it to myself.

With everything that has been happening in the last few weeks, I was hoping that my time in Mexico would be a reprieve. I was hoping it could be a time where I would be walking closely with God again and the worries of everything would just fade away. I was hoping that a week and a half without technology would help me separate. Then it happened almost without warning. These words popped into my head...

You call on me to lay aside the worries of my day;
To quiet down my busy mind and find a hiding place.
Worthy, you are worthy...
Worthy, you are worthy...

Open up my heart and let my spirit worship you;
Open up my mouth and let a song of praise come forth.
Worthy, you are worthy...
Worthy, you are worthy...

of a child-like faith,
and of my honest praise,
and of my unashamed love.

of a holy life,
and of my sacrifice,
and of my unashamed love.

I nearly broke down a few nights later when the band out of no where, in the middle of a high energy set, started to play those same words I knew so well. I am always astounded at the variety of ways God can speak.

Coming Down the Mountain

2007-04-17T12:03:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Just finished lunch; wondering]
[iTunes:: On the Road to Beautiful | Charlie Hall]

Have you ever hiked to the top of a mountain? I have been at the top of a couple of them and the hike is always brutal. When we hiked to the top of El Yunque in Puerto Rico, there were sections that had no trail and you had to hold onto various things to keep from sliding down the side of it. There was also this wonderful stuff called Razor Grass that kept the agony going when the trail was visible. The reality is that getting to the top of any mountain is tough, but then it happens. You round a corner, and climb up a few rocks, and......everything parts, and you have reached the peak. The view is breathtaking, and everything that it took to get there is worth it. You don't dare exhale because you are still trying to breathe in every ounce of the moment. The colors, the smells, and the breeze waft over you in a moment that lasts indefinitely. I took this picture at the top of El Yunque. If you can find the horizon, let me know.

Unfortunately, we eventually have to come back down from the mountain. We have to take our pictures, and drink in the last of the experience and move forward.

There are also figurative mountaintops in life. Some are spiritual, some are relational, and some are just seasons in life that we survived. Sometimes we don't even realize we are climbing a mountain, we just know that things are rough and as far as we can remember they always have been. That is of course until we suddenly find ourselves in a clearing and are knocked off of our feet by the grandness of what we are enduring.

Mexicali is for my probably one of the rarest types of mountains in my life. It is a spiritual, relational, and seasonal peak all wrapped in one. It will forever mark a turning point in my life, be it for better or worse I won't know for a little while yet. Just like any mountain top for me, I find myself walking back down with a brain full of questions and very few answers. Ultimately, it is the question 'why?'

Every morning in Mexico I woke up with purpose. At 6:00 in the morning, I had energy and desire to be awake. For once it was my body trying to tell me to sleep and my mind was crying out that we needed to be awake because there was much to do. My body ached from giving piggy back rides the day before and sleeping on the hard ground all night, and I couldn't wait to do it all over again. People opened their lives and their hearts to me and I did the same with them. I did not want to go to bed because it meant that whoever I was talking with had to stop telling me stories about who they are and why they were there. Every day I saw God move in huge ways.

Why can't every day be that way? A lot of people will just simply say, 'Well it just can't.' I say that we can no longer accept that response. I know there are people out there that wake up every day with purpose. I am fairly certain that Mother Theresa did! One thing I was reminded of this week is that we as Americans are not always right. We do not always have the best solution to everything. To believe otherwise is just plain ignorant.

Now I am starting to get angry and frustrated which means it is time to wrap this up. Unfortunately, during some of my travels in Europe, I came to realize that seeing the problems and questioning them does not change anything. Finding a solution to the questions is when things can be changed.

The theme of the week was "Do not conform any longer!" What happens when what we are conforming to is much bigger than we ever imagined?

Gloria a Dios!!

2007-04-16T12:51:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Head is spinning trying to get everything done]
[iTunes:: Landmine | Train]

I am back. Actually, I got back on Saturday, but I have simple not had the energy to do anything. Despite having time together with everyone on Saturday morning for the sole purpose of reflecting on the trip, I cannot even begin to put into words how incredible the trip was. I saw God do some amazing things for our teams and in a few young people's lives. I had the most amazing Easter of my entire life by a long shot. I met so many new people and now feel like I have family in Mexicali. Bear with me as I try to figure out the best way to tell you everything that happened and share the pictures I took. I missed you all and look forward to catching up on what has happened in my absence :)

Dios le bendiga!!

Testimony Tuesday

2007-04-03T16:11:00.001-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Almost done...]
[Music:: Energy | Skillet]

Last week, one of the pastors of my previous church, drew my attention to a challenge by another blog to call today Testimony Tuesday, and post our testimony's in our blogs and encourage others to do the same regardless of their faith. Simply give testimony to what you believe and why. Since many people have heard bits and pieces, but few have heard the whole story, I thought it would be a good time. Not to mention, I am leaving for a week and a half so it will give you ample time to read through what will no doubt be a long post. Here goes, and please feel free to do the same in the comments or on your own blog, but please let me know you are doing it so I can read it when I get back.

I was born into a Catholic family. Catholic Church on Sundays (even on vacation), and Catholic school all the way through high school. However, we were really just Sunday Catholics. It seemed that everyone loathed getting up on Sunday to go to church so we would go to the noon mass. The only incentive to going to 10:00 was the kids service which was more like story time and the donuts afterwards. Saturday night was far better though because it was a little more casual and meant I did not have to go on Sunday. As I grew up, I was involved in cub scouts and other such programs that got me interested in volunteer work. I was an honor roll student. I was probably referred to as a goody goody on more than one occasion.

Despite that, God was little more to me than a genie that rarely granted my wishes. I often told God that if he wanted me to believe in him then I wanted this or that. I was a rather smart kid so I thought I could stack the game in my favor.

I was always an overweight kid so when you combined that with the goody two shoes, I was a prime target for being picked on. By the end of eight grade it was merciless to the point of my parents almost transferring me to a different school months before graduation. It was then that my eighth grade religion teacher gave me a pocket rosary. Basically a metal disk with 10 bead-like protrusions around it and a cross used for saying the rosary. That rosary spent months in my pockets and when things were going bad, I would grab onto it and pray to the God I wasn't sure existed, but it still made me feel better.

While I was questioning God's existence, and the general distaste most Catholics had for their 'faith' I began to question the whole way of doing church. I figured that the God I heard about on Sundays would prefer we spent the one hour a week out doing work at a soup kitchen or something to that extent. He did not seem like he would be thrilled with a half empty building of barely awake people that were just punching the God clock. He could not be happy with the hypocrisy I saw everywhere among my friends. Naturally I also figured that if this God existed then the plethora of good stuff I was doing would be enough to keep him from being angry with me.

Then it happened.

On a Sunday morning, when I was in high school, Fr. Mike was giving the homily and he said I couldn't get to heaven by only doing good works. He said I also had to go to church. Then and there I was mentally done with the Catholic Church.

I say mentally because I kept going. I was even entirely certain that my higher education was going to be done at the Catholic University of Notre Dame. That is until the rejection letter came. With my options at MSU and Purdue, I opted to stay in state and go to the only campus where the people seemed genuinely friendly; Michigan State University.

Even when I went to college and there weren't parents breathing down my neck to make me go, I went to church. I would get up on Sunday morning when the dorms were still quiet with freshmen sleeping off hangovers, and walk 15 minutes to church. I would sit in agony until the service would be over and walk home as quickly as possible. Finally one Sunday I told myself how silly it was to keep going because my good works were still more than most Catholics I knew and therefore I was just fine.

A few weeks later, I was hanging out with my friend K.H. and she was telling my friend G.Q. about this house church thing she was going to on Sunday nights. Now, K.H. was the first Christian I encountered that read the bible for herself and seemed to know a different kind of God than I had heard about even though we knew a lot of the same stories. When she described house church she made it seem like a laid back place where college kids were hanging out, having fun, singing, and eating homemade food that someone prepared for free. Free food and K.H. (whom I kinda liked) there sounded like good enough reasons to go, especially since the dorms did not server dinner on Sundays!

This is the part in the story where I am supposed to say that I got saved and cried and sung songs with my new friends. That's not how it happened. I was freaked out by these people! The food and hanging out was great, then the singing started. Song sheets were passed out and the guitar player started strumming. I didn't know the song so I tried to figure it out, then I saw The Hands. People swaying back and forth with their hands in the air. The comfort zone was officially gone and I had no idea what I got myself into.

Once the discussion started things normalized again and I noticed the honesty with which these people shared and what was even crazier was that they were showing how they really felt. When things were good they were smiling and when things were bad they were crying. They did not hide it. I wondered what they believed and thought so I kept going. And I also started attending this crazy church called Riverview that met at 10:01 across the street in the Kellogg center, and I could wear jeans.

After the first sermon, I knew these guys were different. The person speaking actually knew the bible. Really knew it. The sermon could be applied directly to life. The music was rocking. This was what I didn't know I had been looking for. The hard part was trying to stay anonymous. Between house church and the small size of this church, you were instantly picked out as a new person. Once that happened, you were introduced to a dozen college students and swept off to have breakfast with a quarter of the church in the Brody Cafe. It was like being welcomed into a very bizarre, friendly, caring family.

After several weeks of this, Rob, the pastor that hosted house church, asked me to grab a Coke at the International Center. Honestly I did not really want to go, but since it was Rob's house and he was a 6 foot plus former hockey player, I didn't exactly know how to say no.

The day of 'The Coke' came and I found Rob waiting for me at the IC. We got some food and sat down. Rob started asking me about my background and what I thought about God. Then he asked me "If you were to die right now, do you think you would go to heaven?" I responded with "I don't know, I think so." Then said, "If you were at the gates and Jesus asked 'Why should I let you into my heaven?', what would you say?". Dumbfounded I told him that I was a pretty good person and hadn't really done a lot of bad stuff. Completely straight faced, Rob flat out told me, No!

No?!?!?!

What??? I was stunned to say the least. He then proceeded to tell me that I could actually know if I was going to heaven and he shared the gospel with me using something called the bridge diagram. He started connecting a bunch of random information that had been floating around in my head. I knew most of what he was saying, but it was suddenly starting to click. At the end of it all, he asked me if I wanted to pray to be saved. I was still very much in shock and a little weirded out so I told him I needed to think about it.

The next few years I kept going to Riverview and faded in and out of house church. I kept going through a cycle of thinking I was a Christian, then learning something knew that made me realize I had no idea what it meant to be a Christian. I would pray to be saved again and think I was certainly now a Christian, and the cycle would continue.

The summer after junior year, I found myself studying in Germany. I also found myself to be the only person claiming to be Christian in a group of 9 guys. Towards the end of my stay, I felt this burning need to go to church, so I got up early on Sunday and walked to the church I knew was Catholic and sat in the back for the whole service. Afterwards I walked around the city by myself praying and talking to God and for the first time really heard him start to speak back.

When the next school year started, God had laid it on my heart to move from being and attender to being involved in my church which at this point had nearly tripled in size and was meeting at 9:30ish and 11:30ish. I decided I needed a bible that I could actually read and highlight and underline in so I asked my friend C.L. Wynn to take my bible shopping. As the year progressed, I found myself in leadership positions in a bible study and a house church. In February I went to a conference called Ignite where I heard about this crazy summer program in Florida called Leadership Training or LT for short. From what I heard, the LT actually stood for lots of trials, but no one could officially confirm that information. Needless to say I said there was absolutely no friggen way I was going to spend a summer in Florida. I hate the heat.

At the end of may I found myself in Cowboy's car driving to Florida for LT.

When I got there, I met D.G. and the rest of the Texas A&M Aggies. There were six of us Spartans that spent our summer with the Aggies. I was also living with Two guys from Illinois, another guy from WVU and this off the wall Native American, Christian Pastor, from West Virginia that looked like a California surfer, name Billy.

Up to this point, I knew all of the answers to the questions of Christianity. I knew the stories inside out because I had heard them my entire life. I knew what the programmed responses were supposed to be, and my life really did not dramatically contradict the faith I was claiming I had. The first half of the summer was a battle between my head and my heart. What did I 'know' verses what did I actually believe. What was I actually willing to base my life on? Then I read Matthew 7:21-23 which says, ""Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'"

Things started to snap into focus. I realized that my problem with many of the Catholics I encountered had been living a life avoiding hell instead of living for heaven. These new Christians I met in college, on the other hand, where so in love with God that they were living for the heaven they knew they were going go. I started to understand the difference between having a religion and having an actual relationship with God. The God of the universe wanted to have a relationship with me."

I more or less equate those college year to spending a life building a house on a weak foundation. Then I discovered that the foundation was completely wrong and I had to build an new foundation and move the built house on top of it. The house itself creaked and groaned and took a long time to settle back into being a sturdy building.

Since then, a great many people have spoken into my life and taught me how to adopt Riverview's mission statement of "building sacrificial followers, who build sacrificial followers, who go.

Going Live

2007-04-02T15:40:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Stir Crazy and anxious to go home]
[Music:: Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own | U2 ]

Since I am going to be gone for a while, I am going to start posting things for the few reader's I have to do while I am gone. First, check out the Mexicali Trip Blog. This will be updated ever day or two while we are in Mexico, and for your information, my team name is Asi-Asi Seis.

Second, over the past few months I have been doing some photography work for Epic. Most of the work has been for the new website as well as some rather large banners that have been made and scattered around the church when you walk in. Well, all that work is finally coming to fruition because the new Epic website will be launched on Easter Sunday! Sadly, you will all get to see it a week before I can so I do not know the extent to which the pictures have been used, but I am still hopeful! The new site is http://epicchurch.com.

That's all I can think of for now :)

Humina--What Now?

2007-04-02T11:15:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Dazed, Not functioning correctly]
[Music:: Alien Youth | Skillet]

I am not very good at making decisions quick decisions. There, I said it. Whew.

[Sound of Crickets]

What? Aren't you shocked? NO!?!?! Here I thought this was an earth shattering revelation.

Fine then. Honestly I think it runs in my blood because my dad is the same way. Last Friday he showed me a drum set he was thinking of buying to replace his current set, and it was a fantastic deal. None the less, he wanted to take some time to think it over and get some input from the seller. I talked to him again Saturday morning and he had decided he was just going to buy them.

The drums were gone.

I am the same way. There was a bag I wanted to buy for the upcoming trip, but I was not entirely decided. By the time I went to buy it, the price went up twenty percent.

The problem is that I like to do my research before hand and understand all the pros and cons of each side of the decision. Granted this means that decisions drag out for a while, but in the long run, when I do the research I need, I am usually completely confident in the decision and rarely look back to consider the other option.

What does this have to do with anything? I got a phone call about an hour ago. I have 24 hours to make a decision. I am nervous and excited. I was so shocked that I could barely put a sentence together on the phone, and forgot the person's name by the end of the call.

Blog Culture 101

2007-03-30T16:20:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Woot, day is almost over and it went surprisingly fast]
[Music:: All The Way Live | Thousand Foot Krutch]

I don't really know what I feel like talking about so I am just going to start, and see what happens. On my old blog, I tended to go a long time between posts mostly because I like waxing philosophical about things. I would come up with a topic that I thought the world direly needed to hear my thoughts on, spend time contemplating the weight of the issue, and come up with my synopsis and opinions. It did not help that updating was not quite as simple as typing into a little window, though considering the limitations the web space had, it was pretty darn close. Naturally I will only admit that now that I have moved to an even simpler method of posting.

It always bothered me though that after spending large amounts of energy on writing something that may or may not have ever gotten read by its intended audience, I could never get feedback from the occasional reader. Again, another reason that I wanted to make 'the switch'. However, now that I have this improved method of posting, I feel like the quality of the posts in diminishing rapidly. Take this post for instance. I am basically writing whatever comes to mind because I don't have much to say.

I think this is the current trend in the quote unquote blog-o-sphere. Initially, blogs were journals. The first site that threw itself onto my radar was LiveJournal and most people that used it exactly as the title suggested. It was the author's diary and as such, the author rarely had any concern over who read it. The author wrote the livejournal for themself, and if people read it that was just fine. Of course, eventually wars erupted over who said what about whom in their journal, causing people to either make their entries or whole journals private, or it caused people to hold back the emotion of whatever they were feeling so no one would be offended. Isn't it interesting how we take something that is uncensored and artificially impose censorship on it? Sorry that just came to mind.

Continuing on, the journaling community adopted new forms and created blogging 1.0. The difference? Well, it seems that blogging became slightly more random. These blogs either maintained a common theme like a sports team or a hobby, or they were less emotional musings about a collection of seemingly random topics. The age of short quips and anecdotes had been ushered onto the web almost like small talk being printed on a screen.

These themes merged and separated several times, but still left distinct impressions on each other and created two sort of new wave trends that I shall call micro-chapterization and pit-foruming. No you won't find those anywhere. Nope, not even in wikipedia. What do you mean, 'How do I know?' I just made up the terms that's why. Because I didn't want to call it blogging 2.0 or 1.2.42. Ok, we are way off subject.

Micro-Chapterization is in my opinion one of the best things about blogging in general in my opinion. These people are the ones that blog for the purpose of letting people know what is going on in their life. Frequently these blogs are the result of someone moving away to a remote area that has limited technological access, and this allows people to post something once that everyone can check, and then leave comments letting them know how much they are loved and missed. I love these blogs because they often have the best stories. I call it micro-chapterization because in essence you have an author writing extremely short chapters of a very large and fantastic story.

Pit-foruming on the other hand has a different focus. Rather than tell a story, these blogs often try to engage a user base and get feedback. The blog itself is a mini web forum topic that uses the comments section as the forum itself. These are fun both for the blogger and the readers because it creates a sense of community. Often these blogs have a larger reader base. I call them Pit-forums because they are basically pit stops for people. When the day or week is over, any given forum topic is forgot about while the community moves on to new topics of discussion. People can stop by quickly, fill up on the latest information, leave a comment, and move on until they need their next dose. These can also be a lot of fun because you do not need to be aware of what has happened in the rest of the person's blog.

Realistically, most blogs are a combination of the two with different levels of leaning towards one or the other.

Wow, that was rather long winded for not having anything to say. Maybe I should go back to pre-thinking the blogs. Or not. Oh, and in case you were wondering, the blog title was actually written after the blog because I didn't know what it would be about before hand. My head is spinning. I am going home now :)

Discovery Zone

2007-03-29T11:14:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Getting hungry, probably time to figure out lunch]
[Music:: Red Sam | Flyleaf]

Inspired by Ms Maggie Moo's Toosdae's, and sheer curiosity, I thought I would pose a question for you to answer in the comments section. This involves you--yes you--well there is no one else reading this at the moment--knock it off, we are getting off topic :P. As I was saying, this involves you going into the comments section and writing something related to the question.

One thing about commenting really quick for those of you who are new to commenting on blogger, at the moment there are three 'Identities' you can use for a comment.

Blogger ID - If you have a blog on blogger, you should already know about this, but if not, you can sign in it will automatically use your blogger name and leave me a link to your blog so I can check it out :)
Other - This has two fields, one for your name or some random name that you make up to be silly or create some semblance of anonymity. The second field is for your web page. This is an optional field so if you don't have one or really don't want me to see it, leave it blank. But I like looking at other sites/blogs/xangas/myspaces etc. If you have some web presence somewhere I would love to know. For example, on some blogs I could enter in Hepcat and my old Blog address.
Anonymous - Honestly, I don't like this field, but if you really want to use it you can. I would prefer that if you use it, you give me some clues as to who you are, but at that point you might as well just use other, and at your request if you are ever talked about in the blog, I will use the silly name you have created for yourself.

[ INSERT REMAINDER OF SMALL PRINT, LEGALESE, AND BLAH, BLAH, BLAH HERE ]

Now the question:

What is your favorite pre-travel ritual?

~I have so many rituals before taking a big trip, but since it is my rules, I should probably stick to them. For the moment I am going to have to say stacking my luggage at the foot of the stairs. I really love seeing my pile of luggage neatly sitting at the base of the stairs waiting to be put into a car. It always makes me feel anxious, excited, and relaxed all at the same time.

Now it's your turn!!!

Squishy

2007-03-28T15:58:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Can't seem to keep thoughts in my head, they just run away]
[iPod:: All I Can Say | David Crowder Band]

Despite my current state of confusion about life in general, there are some things that are still exciting. Travel is always exciting and now I am only about a week away. It also means an opportunity to take the camera out and go to town. Ever since I got my new camera and a few lenses, I have been trying to soak up every piece of information I can get surrounding the subject. Lately I have even started going through old National Geographic magazines to get ideas on how to do photojournalism. I mean this trip is really an opportunity to do exactly that for myself. My goal is to capture the trip as more than just a series of events (that is what I see in many people's travel photo albums).

Don't get me wrong, I do not think there is anything wrong with that, in fact that is what my camp pictures generally look like, and each story tends to have its own story to go along with it. That always makes going through the pictures fun. However, on this trip I want to challenge myself to move outside of my comfort zone and capture the emotion of the people I am going to help instead of the emotion of the people doing the helping.

On a related note, I have been doing a tremendous amount of photography for Epic both for the new website that I hear is launching around Easter and for banners that will be around the church and other events. I am really excited and a tad nervous. This is the first time any of my photography will get any publicity. I will let you know when the new site is launched and let you see my handiwork [beaming smile goes here]

All of that said, I thought I should start sharing a few pictures. The one above was taken on a trip to Tennessee last April.

Happy Wednesday!

It's That Time Again

2007-03-27T15:23:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Restless]
[iPod:: Charlie Brown | The Coasters ]

Those of you that know me well are probably going to get about half way through this post and say to yourselves, "For crying out loud, I thought we were past this." Guess again, and try and help me out, it is far more productive!

For the rest of you, Hi.

The variables:
X = It is the end of March
Y = I am restless
Z = I am embarking on a trip that will no doubt be very meaningful.

X + Y + Z = Crisis time. Granted, Y has been more or less a constant ever since I graduated and realized I am not doing what I am supposed to be doing. Unfortunately, that realization was not combined with the immediate understanding of what I am supposed to do. Thomas Jefferson once said, "I have not had 999 failures. I have found 999 ways how not to make an electric light bulb."

Well, check Engineering and Application Support off the list, now what are the other 998 possibilities? Hmm, somehow I do not think I have the time to try out 1000 careers. If I did each one for 3 weeks, It would take me 57 years and 36 weeks just to get done with my trials. I'll be 81 years old an just starting my career. When would I get to retire???

Heck, yesterday I started thinking about just trying to find really awesome seasonal jobs and float from job to job for a while. It would probably make for an interesting book down the road, and I would have no shortage of pictures to show for my time.

I think one of my problems is that the job I wish I could do, I just cannot do. Seriously. I know what you are all thinking, "You can't do it now, but with some classes and hard work, you can do anything." If education were the only problem then I would agree whole heartedly, but that is not the big problem. If I could do anything, I would be a doctor. Yes, I know, I hate doctors, but I would still be one.

Confused yet? Stay with me. The job of a doctor or even a nurse has pretty much the characteristics of my ideal job. Lots of interaction with different types of people, creative problem solving, passion, meaning. Enter the problem; I have a very weak stomach. I have been doing MDA camp for 8 years and there are still fairly basic things that are very difficult for me to do. I wish I could, but I just cannot seem to get over it. I even have to turn away during parts of Grey's Anatomy or ER.

What does that leave me? Well if nursing and doctoring are out, take another 6 weeks off of the total. Just 57 years, 30 weeks and 994 careers left to try.

Ten

2007-03-26T15:55:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Wishing time would go faster]
[Podcast:: International Justice Mission | Daily Jeezit w/ Noel]

One of my favorite days before traveling is when I can finally see what the weather forecast is for the day I arrive. It is one thing to look at the local forecast and get a rough idea of the local weather, but it is something entirely different to see the day show up in the 10-day forecast! To me it is one of the first truly tangible things about any trip I am taking. It means the planning is pretty much finished and the trip is going to be a reality.

Today I saw that the weather in San Diego will be 63 and Partly Cloudy when we arrive and that day it will be 92 and mostly sunny in Mexicali. I guess that means I need to start doing some serious thinking about packing...just not physically packing because I cannot do that any more than 24 hours away from the trip :)

Call Me El Mariachi!!

2007-03-26T11:08:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Bored, yet is in a silly and contemplative mood. I don't know how that works either]
[iTunes:: Soy Feliz | Azusa Pacific]

Last night, we had a fundraising dinner for our Mexico trip! I do not yet know how much we raised, but we did run out of food at one point and had to go out and buy more while we entertained the crowd with songs and skits we will be performing in our vacation bible schools. The build team also talked about the house they will be building for a family of 10!!

I spent most of the dinner being a roaming musician :) About half the time it was just myself and young woman named Julie and the other half the time there were five or six of us. I would play and we would all sing, though to be honest I think we spent more time deciding where we should go next and what we should sing as opposed to actually playing the songs! Oh well, it was fun! Our set list included and was pretty much limited to:

Soy Feliz
Tu Nombre Levantare
Aunque No Marche
Yo Tengo Un Amigo
To Tengo Gozo
Alabare
Jesus Yo Te Amo
Su Bandera Sobre Mi
Padre Te Adoro
Este Es El Dia

I Can See Through You

2007-03-23T10:19:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Waitng...just waiting]
[iPod:: Seasons of Love | Original Broadway Cast of Rent w/ Stevie Wonder]

I am a gadget freak. I love gadgets, gizmos, thingamabobs, lights, switches, dials, etc. I am also an electrical engineer which means I am, at least a little bit, fascinated by the inner workings of electronics. Combine that with the general love of fantasy and science fiction movies, and you can just imagine the types of ~~toys~~ improvements I can imagine. Movies like Star Wars, The Matrix, many of the Star Trek movies, and all of the 007 films have shown us technology on the edge. They tease us with things that can make guys drool (other than the women).

With that in mind, it is my great pleasure to introduce many of you to some of the wonderful technological advancements that have been successfully made and are in the process of being improved. That's right, I said all of these things are functional!!

Now, when they start making transparent robots, I might be a little scared. Until then, I am going to keep dreaming about the transparent iPod that send music directly to my brain without the need of headphones :)

Don't Kill the Messenger

2007-03-22T09:50:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Though I can't see any windows, the darkness outside from the current storm, can be felt even at my desk]
[iPod:: Ghost Town | Shawn Clark]

This is your warning for this post: This post will possibly infuriate you depending on your current religious beliefs. However, this is my blog, and this is something that really made me think last night. Therefore, I think it is worth saying, and if it makes you mad, put some serious thought into why. I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments section.

Alright, now that we have that out of the way, lets get to the meat and potatoes, so to speak. In some christian belief systems/religions, people believe that Mary, the mother of Jesus, was a virgin through her entire life. These same people also believe that Mary and Joseph were married.

The problem is that the two statements that she died a virgin and she was married are mutually exclusive. Meaning, if she was married then she cannot have died a virgin. If your blood is currently boiling, sit tight and read the rest of this with as calm a head as possible.

In our society today in the U.S. we think it would be possible. We have all heard the jokes about how infrequently married couples make love. With that in mind, and the importance of Mary's virginity at conception, it is conceivable that God would want her to remain a virgin indefinately to provide further strength to the virgin birth. Unfortunately, this logic involves us naturally assuming that today's reality is the same as 2000 years ago thousands of miles away in Israel.

I know, you are wondering just what realities I am referring to and how does this tie into Mary and Joseph's marriage. I am getting to that. In Jewish culture a man and a woman were not officially married until they had consummated their marriage. Think about that for a second. In the Jewish world, their was a wedding ceremony then everyone led the couple to their bedroom and waited outside for the marriage to be consummated. Then and only then would the couple be married and the party could begin!!!

The best laid plans of mice...

2007-03-19T16:27:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: People are trickling past my desk on their way out the door for the day, I on the other hand am sitting here waiting for the time to go like an over anxious school boy]
[iPod:: Minor Swing | Django Reinhardt]

This weekend did not go in any way, shape, or form like it was supposed to. It all started Friday when I got home and got The Letter. I was pissed off and confused more than anything. Naturally my parents wanted to play 20 bazillion questions about it, which anyone who knows me well knows that I need time to reflect on things before I can have a real conversation about them. Prior to reflection time, I just might take someone's head off. After dinner I spent some time ranting at God...it was very Job like rant, complete with God's response. Ouch! There is honestly nothing more frustrating than wanting to be really friggin ticked off and knowing you have absolutely no reason to be. I spent the rest of the night watching movies and flipping through old magazines.

I woke up late on Saturday and was late getting to Velocity (the mini conference that Epic was having at Dave & Busters'). Overall, Velocity was a good time with lots of friends old and new, complete with green sprite that got spilled on me. At least it wasn't beer :) Spent the rest of the day running errands with the Gimp. Hit up borders, Salvation Army, Comp USA for their clearance sale, and a few stores at the Mall. Even found some pants at Steve & Barry's for Mexico for only $11!! Now I just need to figure out where I am coming up with t-shirts for the week.

The evening was spent with Dave and Emily at some of Emily's friends' house. We watched the State game (sad, but at the start of the season I was just going to be happy if the made the tourney and they put up a good fight). However, around 10:30 the night pretty much ended. A little pathetic for St. Patty's day :( Went home and messed around with some things before heading to bed.

Sunday morning I was off to Epic for church and the drama that I only knew about half of. My mom finally wanted to come, but I had to tell her not this week. I think she was a tad confused because this is the first time I think she was serious about coming, and I have been wanting them to come check it out. However, I really had no choice but to say not this week! Why? Well, because the whole message was about Porn. Yup, that's right, we talked about PORN in church. In addition, Lisa and I did a drama about Porn. I don't care who you are, nobody wants to be in the same room as there parents when the topic of porn comes up, let alone be in church :-P.

After service, a bunch of us grabbed lunch and headed to the Mexicali meeting which ran long, but was a riot. We practiced our 'Jesus feeds the 5000' skit, complete with Cinnamon toast crunch and Swedish fish rigged in the sleeves of the Jesus robe. If you want to know, you have to come to the Dinner this Sunday and see it live! Afterwards, a few of us headed to the Gimp's ice hockey game. If you think regular ice hockey is fun to watch, you should see it played in wheelchairs! Need I say more? Finished the night off by hanging at Chelli's Chili bar.

Not a bad weekend per say, just not entirely according to plan. That's it for now since it is almost time to call Monday finished!

Going to the instant replay...

2007-03-16T17:47:00.000-05:00

Well, the letter came. I am wait-listed.

I am also confused.

That is all.

Bewilderment

2007-03-16T12:05:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Mmmm, lunch]
[iPod:: Minnie the Moocher | The Big Bad Voodoo Daddies]

I am a pretty good size guy. By that I mean, I am more teddy bear than I am ken doll. Apparently my lunch order was rather shocking to the guy at Burger King. The transaction went something like this:

MANY (That was his name?!): Welcome to BK what do you want?
ME: I'll have a #4 with cheese (That's a Junior Whopper meal)
MANY: Fries or Onion Rings?
ME: Salad.
MANY: What kind of dressing?
ME: None.
MANY: *Eyes pop out like Daffy Duck realizing Bugs had slipped him yet another stick of TNT*

I had no idea that eating salad without dressing was enough to stop a fast food employee dead in his tracks. Honestly would have thought it would take a lot more than that. Something like, 'I'll have four of the Quad Stackers and an extra large Diet Coke.' Go figure.

Sound Check

2007-03-15T15:48:00.000-05:00

Standing.

Waiting in the darkness.

Crowds' murmurs fade to momentary onomatopoeias.

Nervous energy builds with every breath.

Words floating in the fog of consciousness.

Squeaks break the silence.

One, then another.

Heavy red fabric shifts.

Shadows too dark to be real dance upon its somehow shimmery surface.

The massive cape slides open to reveal its mysteries.

Faint wisps of light reflect off imperceptible shapes.

Maddening silence of people not exhaling.

Appendages numb and shaking of their own accord.

As if afraid to break the tension, all thoughts hide from perception.

Memory erased; leaving no trace of what was moments ago.

Everything hushed.

Heart thumps nearly audibly.

Nothing.

Suddenly from above, Pop! Fwoom!

Landscape painted by blinding light

Only a subtle hum remains.

Crowd shifts, drinking in the created reality.

Creaking.

Thoughtless feet move forward.

Stop.

Parched throat; knotted stomach.

Dry mouth begins to open.

No words yet uttered.

Like water from a burst damn, thought comes rushing back.

Words begin to flow.

First word brings confidence.

The show has begun.

Swing and a miss, strike one...

2007-03-15T00:18:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Chatting online, getting ready for bed, checking e-mail, sound of the fan in the background]

For those of you who are wondering, today (well yesterday since it is after 1 am) was an o.k. day. Nothing really bad happened, and fusion was pretty good. That said, I also got no news whatsoever. None. The website says:

March 14th: Notification of Acceptance

I guess what that actually means is, letters will be sent out on the 14th. Now instead of just one nervous drive home from work (yesterday's) I get to have one every day until the letter comes. Bah! Oh well. I have waited this long, what's a few more days.

Seriously?

2007-03-14T12:45:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Trying to figure out how to keep myself occupied]
[iPod:: Father of Mine Everclear]

Ever wonder why dealing with tech support is such a pain. When it comes to support of any form, there are only two scenarios of what can happen. The first scenario is one where the support person you are talking to knows exactly how to fix it, but does not remember what it is like to not know how to fix it, and therefore cannot explain to someone else how to fix it. This is of course a bad thing and makes both parties very frustrated. Been there, done that, have broken phone pieces to prove it.

The second scenario is that the support person does not have the first friggen clue how to fix it. Yup, I said it. Not a clue. The scary thing is that this is far more common that scenario one. How do I know? I am a support person, and most of the time I am scenario two. Don't believe me? Here's how it works.

Person calls help desk (Help desk people do not know anything about anything technical. Their main job is to figure out who which group of people might be able to fix the problem by recognizing key words)
Help desk calls me
I call the person in need of help and have them tell me what software they are using and how to re-create the problem (the ticket that the help desk opened usually are written neither in any comprehensible spoken language, nor are they in any recognizable programming language) and have them send pictures (without pictures things go very badly)
I take pictures of the problem that I may or may not have replicated (I too have no clue how fix it)
I call one of several other help desks. Yes, I am absolutely serious. Guess what they do :oP
Someone calls me for an explination (Sound familiar)
Voodoo happens (yup, voodoo, because I have no idea how the fixed it)
Repeat 6 and 7 until problem is solved.
Gelp desk tells me ticket is closed.
I tell original person that the problem is fixed.

At no time did anyone learn how to fix the problem. This is why tech support is such a pain. Everyone wants to be supreme geek and therefore refuses to teach anyone the mystery voodoo that solves the problem. What's even worse is that when they are promoted or getter job because they know the mystery voodoo, they still will not teach the new support person the voodoo that they do so well. That is when we get to the point where no one actually knows how stuff works, and don't even bother asking about documentation. There is none.

I am just frustrated because I am getting more applications to support that no one really knows how they work. I hate that. I hate the stupid support cycle because it is a waste of time and makes everyone feel like an idiot. Maybe that is just the way things work here at my company, but I have a feeling it is a much bigger problem than that.

For the record I now support approximately 11 different applications and databases with almost no sufficient training. The only reason I know how a few of them sort of work is because I watched them get installed. Oh well, I think I am done ranting, and am moving on to banging my head against the cubicle wall. Some parts of it are actually foam so they aren't too rough on the head.

Paranoia

2007-03-13T15:26:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: At Work, Entering time into the time tracking system, kinda thirsty]
[iPod:: The Sweater Song | Weezer]

I am feeling a little paranoid. Why? Up to this point, today has been a pretty good day. Much better than yesterday, that is for certain. Yes, that is the reason I am paranoid. I know, it does not make much sense, but to me it does.

Here's the problem. I am not one of those people that believes that if things are going great on a particular day, that something catastrophic is going to happen to crush my day. That would just be silly. I mean, a good day is a good day and you cannot ruin a truly good day. That would make it a bad day.

No, my paranoia is about tomorrow. It seems that very often in life, a good day is immediately followed by a not so good day which is then of course followed by a good day...etc. You get the point. So, there you have it, I am worried that tomorrow is going to be a bad day and it is still seven and a half hours away.

Normally this wouldn't be such a big deal, but tomorrow I get news. The irony is that I am not entirely sure what I want the news to be. Confused? Well it is news that basically means I stay put or I head elsewhere to do a very different job. Those are the only two possibilities for the news that is supposed to come tomorrow. Logically since I am a traveler by nature and I very much dislike my job, it would make sense for me to move and do the new job. I just do not know if it is what I am supposed to do.

Still with me? If not, here's the recap. I want good news tomorrow which will make tomorrow a good day, I just don't have a clue which one of the two options the news can take will be the good news.

Welcome to the inner-workings of my brain. It's a lot like spinning in circles with your arms out while staring up at the sky, and then very abruptly stopping, while closing your eyes, and putting your arms at your sides...or something like that.

It's Alive....again....

2007-03-12T13:58:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Sitting at work, Pepsi on the desk, major tension headache]
[ipod:: Kei's Song | David Benoit]

First things first, the Camp Photoblog is alive yet again, though sadly I do not know how long it will last. I am searching for a new free webhost for it, but in the meantime enjoy it while it lasts. I am requesting that anyone who wants to be notified of its status send an e-mail to dailycamppics AT gmail DOT com. I will add you to a list that I can send updates too :).

I do not have much to say today because the truth is I am not feeling that great and that is skewing my perspective on pretty much everything. That's life though, so I guess I just have to deal with and move on. The highlights included:

Thrift store shopping for Mexico
Bocce Ball and Irish Pubs do go together
Spending the day with a friend and her one year old daughter(who ironically does not like me, but loves the stuffed dog I gave her for her birthday)
Wandering around Great Lakes crossing realizing that Thrift stores really do have good deals
Reading a few chapters of a new book [title withheld until conclusion of reading said book]
Looking through a bin of old McDonald's toys and deciding that Hula girl Lila just might be the van's mascot in Mexico
A candy dispensing Mr. Potato head that is also a wind up toy is very versatile
Jesus' miracles can all be done using only 5 actors, some bed sheets, a robe, Swedish Fish, some sort of to be determined cereal, water, a few cups, some food coloring, and streamers!
Stores you really, really want to go to close two minutes before you get there...Always!
Speaking with a French accent to 1st-5th graders is always fun

There you have it, my whole weekend in 10 bullet pointed items. Three cheers for Monday being almost over!

I'll take two...

2007-03-09T14:52:00.000-05:00

If anyone is looking for gift ideas for me for no apparent reason whatsoever, here you go. I want this :oD

It is a 200-500mm F2.8 lens, that when combined with the 2x converter and the 1.6x field of view crop for my camera it is roughly a 640 - 1600mm F5.6 Lens.

The only word that comes to mind with this is...absurd! None the less I still want one just to see how far I can zoom. I honestly believe this is roughly the equivalent of a small telescope.

P.S. If you don't feel like getting me the lens, I will also be needing two college football linemen to probably carry this beast. Take a look at the picture...that thing all the way at the right end is the camera...it is about the same size as my camera. That means the other end is roughly the size of a small car tire. And you thought my big lens was scary looking!!!!

Taking the Tour out of Tourist

2007-03-09T13:28:00.000-05:00

When I was a junior in high school, one of my roles in the spring musical was to be a tourist in the opening scene. There were 8 or 10 of us that wandered around the stage in two lines and took pictures. I even have a picture of the audience I took one night.

I hate being a tourist. True, I am a traveler, there really is not much debating that. I love packing up a few things and hitting the road (or the sky, rails, or open water for that matter) and leaving the norm behind me. Maybe it is the innate craving for adventure that calls me out into the unknown, or maybe it is the thirst for an understanding that can only be discovered through cultural immersion. Who knows? The only thing I really know is that the less touristy the trip the better!! Whatever the case may be, my next trip is going to be to Mexicali, Mexico at the start of April!

This trip will definitely be qualifying for less than touristy label. Why? Well because this is really a short term mission trip. In the past when I have done trips like this they have been called alternative spring breaks or something to that effect, but this one is really a mission trip. What's the difference? Well first of all, because we will be doing Vacation Bible Schools at 4 different sites. Granted, this means playing soccer, singing, doing skits, arts and crafts, and just generally playing with kids. I am really not too concerned or nervous about that. The real change is going to be the accomodations.

When I went to Puerto Rico in 2003, we were confronted by many of the cultural aspects that I assume I will be seeing in Mexico. There will be a language barrier, terrible housing, stray dogs that you don't dare go near, but in Puerto Rico, we were staying at a retreat center...Not the case on this trip. Once we cross the border, we say goodbye to the modern comforts of home. No more running water (we will have to buy all of our water for drinking and anything else) and no flushing toilets. We will be using spit holes for brushing teeth and porta-potties for you know what.

The strange thing is I am both really nervous and excited at the same time. Don't ask me why because at the moment I really haven't the foggiest clue as to why I am excited at not being able to take a shower for a week. That is just bizarre!

Well, that is about all I am going to say for now, but rest assured there will be a lot more blogging between now and then about the topic. For now, if you are the praying type, pray for our preparations and fund raising. Right now we are really short on funds and that is not a good thing, but we have faith that God will provide! If you have the burning urge to donate, or know someone who would like to, let me know and I can get you information on that!

Now Boarding at Gate T1...

2007-03-08T12:17:00.000-05:00

[Stage Notes:: Excited that the design of the blog is finished and I can get blogging]
[iPod:: For Those About to Rock | AC/DC]

Since this is the first post, it would seem like I ought to say welcome to all of my new readers. I am not going to say that, because this is not actually the first post. True, this may be the first post you are seeing in the blog, and according to the archive that blogger is keeping for me this is the first post. Still, I am telling you this is not the first blog post. Why am I telling you this? Well, I am glad you asked...yes that weird smirk you are giving the computer counts as asking :-P

Reason 1: If you are reading this and can only see one post it is because I told you about the new blog personally and you have probably read my other bloggings elsewhere (if you are really nice, I might just give you the link to those old ones). If I did not tell you about it, then the odds are you stumbled across this by complete accident...or I suppose it could be because I neglected to ever post any thoughts after this, in which case, I would probably at least say don't bother coming back. Alright, I have a solution to those of you that fall into these last two categories: Aloha. There you go.

Reason 2: If you are not an individual that falls into the above description, then odds are that you have already read a few posts and are backtracking to see the start of it all (I do it too if I really like your blog). Assuming that is the case, then me welcoming you is kind of a moot point because you already have made yourself comfortable. It would be like going to someone's house for a party and after they serve you dinner, the say 'Welcome to my house, would you care for anything?'

There you have it. Now like any good story, the reader meets the character at the start of an adventure. The truth is that this adventure is just part of a larger story that is the character's life. My Story has been going on for many years before you arrived, but I am glad you are here. Likewise, my story will continue until after you stop reading, and this blog exists no more in its current form. Regardless of where I am in my sojournings, it is time for you to punch your ticket, leave the terminal, and join me for a while!